Ciguapa Ramblings

bored...

2006-08-26T02:45:00.000-04:00

So ever since i don't have school anymore i have found myself to be quite BORED. After the spring semester was over i moved to this town (Perth Amboy) and i have greatly missed my friends back in hudson county. It seems like there are no places to go and meet ppl my age and with my interests. My brother is in HS and every week i find a group of 14-16 yr old boys in my house with whom i don't have much in common, besides them i havent meet anyone else in this place.

I am desperate to meet some other HUMAN BEING in order to put an end to this boredom, especially since i only have a week and a half left of my summer vacation. I am glad that my summer classes are over, but it would be nice to hang out with new friends before i have to start all over again in the fall semester!

people

2006-08-20T04:26:00.000-04:00

shit!
It's funny how sometimes it takes one a long time to realize that you dislike a certain individual. Yesterday, with an over worked brained due to the never ending summer classes i had to take and combined with a few hits from our favorite friend MJ, I found myself in an argument with a certain individual. The discussion arose from the MJ itself, since i was the one that put in the most money, therefore entitleting me to its rightful ownership, i did not want to roll again. However, this person wanted to finish it and i brought up the money issue, to which she protested arguin that many times she has payed for everyone and not asked for anythin. However, i have been one that has been constantly excluded and rarely been offered anythin.

Anyhow, after seen his/her reaction (even in my half conscious state), i realized how much we have grown apart from our startin friendship to now. I can no longer recognize how this individual feels or even worst, wats goin on in his/her head. Many changes have occured which have driven us down completely separate paths causing yesterday's evident clash. So much so, that i have discovered a newfound dislike for this individual.

It is interesting to see how one changes with time and due to the circumstances that are faced daily. I for one have become a come confident and independent person, however the rest of my acquaintances seem to be walkin down a road of uncertainty.

Nobody’s Children

2006-08-06T14:26:00.000-04:00

Toss them

Trade them
Train them
Leave them

From left to right they’ll go about
Treated like mindless dolls
Manipulated by the grown
Tossed into the abyss of the unknown

Up and down they’ll travel the streets
Looking for a warm home to rest
A caring family to possess
And love that will never end

Around and around they will be tossed
Like a carousel at top speed
By the ones that claim their genes

Love is unknown to them
Home is a figment of their imagination
Care is neglected
Food
Is
Denied

Nobody’s Children

Can you hear they’re screams?
On a cold wintry night

Can you see their faces?
Pressed between the floor and a moth eaten sheet
Beneath the dirt of the day

Can you imagine their dreams?
Of going to the moon
Becoming a princess
Or just being a doctor

Can you feel their despair?
When all is denied except air

Nobody’s Children
They are there

Can you alleviate their anguish?

HAY PERO QUE CALOR!

2006-08-02T20:44:00.000-04:00

ITS HOT OUT THERE!

Desafortunadamente hoy tuve que caminar unas 5-6 cuadras y si no fuera por el agua que tenia en mi Nalgene bottle ahora mismo alguien estuviera escribiendo un obituary. No recuerdo la ultima vez en la cual habia sudado tanto en tan poco tiempo. La temperatura supuestamente llego a eso de los 110 GRADOS FARENHEIT!

Con ese calor uno puede consinar un bistec encima de un carro sin ningun problema. Pero que calor! Eso que naci en DR pero yo para temperaturas que pasan mas de 85 grados ya necesito un aire acondicionado porque el sudor y yo no combinamos.

Supongo que Al Gore debe de estar en su casa pensando, YO SE LOS DIGE, SENORES EL MUNDO SE ESTA CALENTANDO Y TODOS NO VAMOS A JODERRRRR!

Aunque yo creo que el ya tiene su pasaje reservado para irse a vivir al lado oscuro de la luna. Supuestamente la temperatura ahi es de -250 grados Farenheit. Asi que el va a estar vendiendo EQUIMALITO or como lo llaman ahora SKIM ICE para ver si se alivia esta ola de calor.

Bueno, yo mejor prendo mi Aire!

mi escuelita...

2006-07-29T18:28:00.000-04:00

so...

July is almost over and I'm still in school (Summer Session at Rutgers University), down to my last of three classes that I forcefully put myself into. But what can I say? I love to learn, yet hate school. Something that I have recently admitted to myself. At times it feels like I'm just in school to get away from home *Major Truth* and at others it feels as if I'm just there to waste time *Another Major Truth* but what can I do? I'm a nineteen yr old who has no FUCKIN CLUE of where I want to be. But I'm not the only one, most of my friends are in the same exact boat of indecisiveness and every semester a letter arrives in each of our mailboxes, just to remind us of how much this state of bein costs down to a penny.

Estado Jardin

2006-07-28T00:34:00.000-04:00

Hace ya casi ocho años que me encuentro radicada en el "Estado Jardin" pero pocos arboles he visto a mi alrededor, no mas edificios y el constante humo que emanan los carros y las fabricas. El sueño americano por fin realizado! Un sueño que consiste en cuatro paredes que con cada año que pasa te van encerrando entre un mundo tan surrealista que Salvador Dali le queda chico. La lluvia acida que no cesa y el invierno eterno que nunca desvanece, son los inevitables amigos de mis ventanas, que no hacen mas que enzeñar a mis ojos caidos el pronostico diario. Bufanda o paraguas? Quien sabra, en estos dias hay que salir preparado para la guerra no va y agarre uno el tan anticipado flu.

Tan hermoso que es mi "Estado Jardi," con sus tristes flores implorando a gritos el agua necesaria para colmar su sed. Esperando en cada dia que pasa un rayo de claridad y el fin del deficit estatal. Y que su fama no sea por causa de una serie televisiva de mafiosos italianos. Rodeado de mares impestados por la contaminancion y con arenas tan oscuras que el mismo cemento a veces es mas claro que los granitos cual rodean el mar. Tan bella su gente, compuesta por miles de etnicidades que sobreviven peleando por su individualidad, solo para ser aplastadas por la incomprension.

Estas son las bellezas de mi tierra adoptiva, que nada le tiene que envidiar a la natal. Ambas llenas de corruptos y esperando por un poder grandioso que les resuelva los mil y un enrredos en los cuales se encuentran estancados. Ambos vagabundos pidiendo limosna en la peor esquina del vecindario. Tan cerca del poder y asi tan lejos de alcanzarlo.

Que viva los estados estancados!

Endless

2006-06-06T01:33:00.000-04:00

One of the central philosofies in Buddhism states that all things are connected through some way or another and the picture on the left is of the endless knot which symbolizes this relationship.

Hijas de la distancia

2006-05-18T02:29:00.000-04:00

Dos y algo de la mañana, sin ganas de dormir y esperando un no se que, mientras una fuerza inexplicable hace aparecer letras en el monitor, me pongo a pensar. Miles de imagenes, discursos y porquerias pasan por mi mente hasta que me doy cuenta en la dura realidad del destino.

Mil quinentas millas al sur se encuentra el vientre que me dio vida, las manos que me acariciaron y el pecho que me conforto algun tiempo atras. Tan distante en mi memoria estan que a veces tengo que forzarme a recordar que todavia existe ese ser. Y por mas que quiera transcurrir esa larga trayectoria, es imposible llegar pues no hay tierra firme que me regrese a tan lejano lugar. En cientos de miles de millas de pavimento, millones de letreros o interminables direcciones, no hay forma alguna de llegar a esos brazos sin dejar de tocar tierra.

No se encuentra carretera que me pueda transmitir al lugar donde un dulce de leche sepa igual. Ni tampoco ventana abierta que permita entrar el sonido de su voz al pronunciar perfectamente las silabas de mi nombre. No es posible. Porque no basta las veces que me imagine tal rumbo, para que este exista. No importa cuantos automobiles posea o el precio de la gasolina para llegar a dicho destino.

La distancia es larga, y aun mas cuando no hay forma alguna la cual pueda conectar dos almas del mismo cuerpo. Por eso deseo poseer alas. Un par de alas para hechar rumbo al cielo y recorrer la distancia infinita que existe entre ambas tierras. Para poder sentir su calor y devolver a mi olfato su dulce aroma.

el descubrimiento

2006-05-18T01:57:00.000-04:00

In the run around of everyday life we sometimes tend to take for granted the simple inexplicable moments in time during which our hearts seem to be at ease just for the simple fact that we exist. These moments come about often or not so often depending on how keen we are on noticing them. Today for example I discovered heaven--literaly within my zip code--after overcoming my fear of bikes (those of you who know the story can understand, if not just ask). I saw the most beautiful houses' one of them built in 1908; discoreved an classic red VW Bettle (one of my obsessions) and to top it all of, found a beach, yes you saw it right "La Playita" as it is commonly known in this neck of the woods. Today I discovered things that were so close, yet so unimaginably far, all bundled up within the same town.

I guess Perth Amboy ain't so bad after all!

Almost done

2006-05-09T22:16:00.000-04:00

Only one more final before i can say that my second year at this respectable university is over...and then the uncertainty of summer.

Destroying our Future: the effects of child exploitation in the Caribbean

2006-05-09T00:36:00.000-04:00

Contemporary tourism has portrayed the Caribbean to be this wonderful place where all of life’s worries can be washed away with the crystalline waters and a ray of sunshine. Unfortunately, this “heaven on earth” has also been modified to accommodate different fantasies which in the case of “Sirena, Selena” also include child sexual exploitation. The book written by Mayra Santos-Febres depicts, among other things, the crude reality that forces the native people to devise strategies for subsistence due to the economic hardships that prevail and how tourism, particularly sex tourism, becomes one of the infinite solutions. It is a shame that the economic situation of the region is so dire that young children have to resolve to methods of exploitation in order to survive. But what is even more horrifying is the fact that it is so conspicuous that even the authorities partake in the act. Nevertheless, it is an issue that needs to be carefully examined and an in depth research should be performed in order to understand the effects that child exploitation has not only on the economy but also on the lives and future of the youngsters who participate.

Child exploitation is a serious crime not only because of the people it has an effect on, but also due to the serious repercussions that it involves. Many children, as in the case of Sirena, are forced into this lifestyle because of the harsh economic conditions they encounter. These conditions unfortunately only worsen when drugs and alcohol are involved. Children that are thrown into this situation suffer from serious emotional and psychological abuse, not to mention the obvious physical abuse to which many are subject due to their line of work. Contrary to a new business venture, these children not only gamble with the chances of making money, but most importantly put their own lives at risk for the simple purpose of surviving. This is a dangerous balancing act between life and death that puts many six feet below ground and to the few lucky ones, a hot dinner plate on their table.

Besides the obvious dangers that child exploitation bestows upon the children, it also endangers the particular country’s economy and population. Basing tourism, an important economic sector, as the catapult for this industry greatly affects the other areas of a country’s economy. Since child exploitation is a clandestine form of recreation, the amount of capital that flows in and out of a country could never be exactly determined. Nor could it be assume that the children involved are receiving their fair share of the deal. It also endangers the participants that are transported abroad for the sole purpose of providing sexual favors and hinders the family dynamics that are common of the region. It also grants economic power to these young individuals, who with regards to their fellow counterparts possess a considerable amount of disposable income, giving them even more reasons to quit their studies. This results in a considerable amount of young people who are uneducated, without a legal trade for acquiring capital and lack the opportunity of securing a better future.

In conclusion, child exploitation is a dangerous crime that has terrible repercussions for the children involved. It also drains a country from renewing its labor source since it utilizes part of the population that would eventually be replacing the present work force. Not to mention that it is a despicable act due to society’s standards because it robs children of their innocence and puts them in a situation in which their own survival is at jeopardy. Therefore, measures should be taken in order to help, if not eradicate, at least minimize the extent to which child sexual exploitation plays an important part in the economy of many Caribbean countries.

a lavarse la...

2006-05-08T04:08:00.000-04:00

Ahora si que ya no hay excusas.
Plain and simple if you can't understand wat it's for then u should definetely not be using it!

so here we go

2006-05-08T04:02:00.000-04:00

So after surfing through some sites i decided to get a blog and here we go. The only thing that would make it easier would be if my friends also had blogs, most ppl nowadays are stuck on facebook or myspace (both of which i have but don't use that often). So im hoping that this would be an interesting experience.

Vamo a ver!

Last teen year

2006-05-07T22:20:00.000-04:00

May 6, 2006
Day i turned 19
last of foolished dreams
senseless nights
and sleepless days
last of all youth's craziness
and the beginning of carefully calculated drama